Monday, February 28, 2011



Dear Heart ,
I know it's hard.
But you need to move on.
Now. Please.

I guess, I shouldn't mention about it anymore.
Perhaps that will help a bit.

But why do you keep visiting me in my dreams huh?
I don't want you and I don't want to see you.
It'll make it even more harder for me *Sigh

Actually I feel lucky for those who has good family background.
Don't get me wrong.
What I mean is that family who implement Islamic teachings and values correctly.

Still, iman tak dapat diwarisi.
Everything that happens are for the best, right? :)
That's why. And now I learn from it.

So I have drafted few things for my future children *Grins.
But I plan to learn more about psychology of children.
On how to treat them and teach them correctly.
On how to motivate them etc.
I guess I can learn those from books.
So from now on, I'll be hunting such books *Grins

No matter how excellent (idk!) my plans are, pandangan si suami perlulah diambil kira :D
*As if I have one :D

Berpijak pada realiti.
I know it seems ambitious.
Especially for a person who haven't yet married.
And not officially engaged to anyone.
But, dreams will keep you alive right? :D

I don't know.
People say, if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.
And also, aim for the moon.
If you don't get the moon, you'll still get the stars.
But to think logically, stars are actually higher,
and even farther if compared to the moon :D

Terimalah semua yang telah Allah berikan kepadamu, dan jadilah kamu termasuk orang-orang yang bersyukur (Al-'Araf:144)

Should I be flattered?
OR are you trying to be sarcastic?
It's totally unclear.

Bicara Dari Diri Untuk Diri;

Menangis kesedihan saat diri didatangi permasalahan.
Wahai diri, sedarkah engkau akan permasalahan itulah juga yang mendekatkan dirimu dengan Yang Maha Kuasa?
Yakinilah pada Dia.
Dia menyayangiMu, akan sebab itulah Dia menjadikan perkara itu sebegitu,
agar dirimu sentiasa mengingatiNya

This one was written years ago.
But I guess it means a lot to me.
Till then.

Salam Sayang,

Sunday, February 27, 2011

A short post.


Just arrived from Rumah Ehsan.
A bit tired but I'm glad that it went smoothly.
* Letih sampai tertidur atas bas :D

Yeah. I do agree with Dr Shamsul's point
*Life is just like a cycle.

It makes me wondering.
How my life will end one day.
Ya Rabb. Be it the best for me.

Lima Perkara Sebelum Lima Perkara.

1. Sihat sebelum sakit.
2. Muda sebelum tua.
3. Kaya sebelum miskin.
4. Lapang sebelum sempit.
5. Hidup sebelum mati.

I wish I could join the proggramme to Sekolah Irsyad.
* You know how I adore kids *Grins
But I already signed up for the Baitul Muslim Course.
*Boleh tak escape jap pagi Ahad tu? Haha :P

I miss the 'liking' things.
(Even though I need to move on)
I wonder.
Would it ever be the same again? *Sigh

I miss my mum and my dad too.

Friday, February 25, 2011



Setakat ini saya masih lagi mampu bertahan.

Currently striving hard, avoiding from doing things that wouldn't benefits me.
But I guess it's not that easy.

One of the points mentioned by Marshall Slyver (the co writer of the book titled Trump University - Wealth Building 101 together with Donald Trump) is, a millionaire is a person who spend their 24 hours per day by doings things that allow them to gain high salary, hence neglecting jobs that give them low wages.

In other words, they use the best of their time to do things that really benefits them the most and neglecting things that they shouldn't be bothered, for example worrying about the telephone bill etc.

In conclusion, it also means a smart person should really spend their time wisely and also, avoiding wasting time.

In Al Quran, Allah mentioned in Surah Al-Mu'minun verses 1-6:

1. The believers must (eventually) win through,-

2. Those who humble themselves in their prayers;

3. Who avoid vain talk;

4. Who are active in deeds of charity;

5. Who abstain from sex,

6. Except with those joined to them in the marriage bond, or (the captives) whom their right hands possess,- for (in their case) they are free from blame

Yes, I know.
I've been spending so much time doing things that I shouldn't do.

I should really avoid doing unnecessary things (and talk).
But sometimes they seems to be so addictive *Sigh

Still, I can't let the devils win.
Be strong, darling!

To tell you the truth, I borrowed that book from library, but I've just finished reading 2 chapter, out of 20 within 5 days.

I know the proggressing is super slow, but what can I do when I have lots of responsibilities that I must performed and lots of medical notes that I should finished.

But I shouldn't search for an excuse.

The important thing is:
DO MY BEST! (InshaAllah)

And I guess, the next and the next entry will be filled with what I've learned from that book *Grins

Minitest is just around the corner.
Put aside any business matter for a while.

It's time to focus.
And not to doze off during lecture *I'll try :D

Salam Sayang,

Another P/s:

3 tips to THINK BIG!

1. Ask yourself why your plan are so small. Then begin to expand your horizons.

2. Concentrate on managing your future, not your past. Learn from the past, but don't stay there

3. Look at the solution. Don't focus on the problems

( Donald J. Trump, Trump University - Wealth Building 101)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Lelangit Hati 1

✿ Puisi Lelangit Hati I ✿
© Copyright Reserved @ H.L.P.

Berbicara si langit,
Wahai awan mendung, gusar apa hatimu?

Tersenyum si awan,
Bisikan! Semua yang datang dan pergi!
Apa tidak mengerti aku bukan singgahan?
Walau aku kalanya disinari mentari,
Aku juga bisa mengalirkan hujan

Mentari menyambung,
Duhai awanku sayang,
Datangku setia ditemani keimanan,
Kunjungku tiba seiring ketaqwaan,
Selagi kau mengingatiNya,
Sampai bila hadirku kan berpanjangan

Rimbunan pepohon meluahkan kata,
Mengalirlah titisan hujan!
Embun tiada mencukupi Ya Ilahi,
Kerasnya kekayu hati harus dilentur,
Sehingga terbentuk tiada goyah,
Kehendak mahunya si Pencipta

Bicara tersambung pada si awan,
Diriku hairan Ya Ilahi!
Seribu pertanyaan dari kalbu hati,
Puas diri menutupi,
Puas diri menjaga,
Namun kenapa akhirnya masih ada yang tiba?

Langit menutup bicara si awan,
Mungkin ada khilafmu,
Mungkin juga inilah ujian hidupmu!

Merintih si awan,
Berikan aku kekuatan Ya Ilahi,
Andai semua ini sudah terukir di Loh Mahfuz,
Temani aku, jangan biarkan aku terhembus!

19-22 Februari 2011
3.42 a.m.



It feels so good after writing those, as it reflects what I'd feel at that moment.
Actually I wrote it while waiting for the participants to arrive at one of the station that I'm in charge of during Treasure Hunt, for Anatomy Workshop.
However, only yesterday morning I managed to complete it, before hitting the sack.

I guess it's a bit complicated to interpret it since it involves 'langit, mentari, hujan' etc.
Still I believe, for those who love to ponder, perhaps they might understand what I am trying to portray.
Especially you, a*** ! *Grins

Salam Sayang,

Monday, February 21, 2011



Yes, I know.
I've been wasting so much times to things that I shouldn't be concerned with.
I shouldn't let myself being distracted in the first place.
I guess it's another lesson for me *Grins
It's time to focus and be on the right track, again.

After facing all those things, something struck my mind.

Ya Rabb.
Whatever happens, please.
InshaAllah I can bear all those trials that you gave me,
And I believe you'll always be my side,
As long as I put you in my heart.

"Kerana itu, ingatlah kamu kepadaKu, nescaya Aku ingat (pula) kepadamu...,"

But one thing I'm afraid of.
Other than not entering Jannah and become deviated (نعوذ بلله)
Whatever happens, please Ya Allah.
Kurniakanlah aku zuriat Ya Rabb bila tiba waktunya kelak.
Jauhkanlah aku dari sebarang permasalahan mendapat zuriat.
Dan andai Kau kurniakan aku zuriat kelak,
Jauhkanlah juga zuriatku dari sebarang permasalahan kesihatan.
Dan andai Kau kurniakan zuriatku sihat walafiat,
Jauhkanlah zuriatku dari terpesong dari agamaMu.
Kau jagalah agama dan hati mereka.
Kau lindungilah mereka sebaiknya.
Dan jadikanlah mereka salah seorang hambaMu yang berjihad di jalanMu.
Sesungguhnya Ya Allah, hidayah adalah milikMu.

Yes, life is never easy.
There'll be more trials to come.
May my heart become stronger day by day.

I really don't like the feeling of being not respected.
It's time to remind myself again.
Dear Sweetheart ♥ , Husnuzon!
And I need actions!

Salam sayang,

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Prose Peneguhan Hati II

♥ Ya Allah,
Gantikanlah penderitaan ini dengan kesenangan, balasan kesedihan sebagai hal yang menggembirakan dan hilangkanlah perasaan takut ini kepada ketenteraman

♥ Ya Allah,
Sejukkan gelora hati dengan salji keyakinan, dan padamkan gelojak api jiwa dengan air keimanan

♥ Ya Allah,
Berikanlah rasa mengantuk sebagai kenyamanan bagi mata yang tidak dapat dipejam. Berikan rasa damai bagi jiwa-jiwa yang resah ini satu kedamaian, dan berikanlah dengan kemenangan yang nyata

♥ Ya Allah,
Tunjukkanlah penglihatan ini menuju cahayaMu; bimbinglah kesesatan ini kearah jalanMu dan bimbinglah orang yang tergelincir menuju petunjukMu

♥ Ya Allah,
Lenyapkan segala keraguan dengan cahaya mentari di ufuk timur. Hancurkan segala kebatilan yang bersarang di dalam perasaan dengan secerah sinar kebenaran. Hapuskan segala tipu daya syaitan dengan pertolongan bala tenteramu

Reference: La Tahzan m/s: xxiv

Let Bygone Be Bygone

Friday, February 18, 2011



Standing between 2 extremes is sure not an easy job for me.

- ---- --- --- - ------ ------ ------ ---

Today I got a message from my sis, saying:
"Ma kato, sebab ah pilih ma, jadi ma nak jago ah molek,"

Tears rolling down my cheek, and I'm totally speechless by the moment I read it.
They do love me, with all of their hearts and they once said:

"Kalau anok anok ma pecah berkecai jadi serpihan serpihan kecik mano pun, biarlah. Ma abah akan kutip so so cantum semula,"
And when she said it, she meant it and she already proved it, in previous cases.

I still remembered, the last time I went home, mom bakes me a cake (without me knowing), nasi himpit + kuah satay, and bought lots (lots and lots) of food that I used to love them a lot during my childhood.

Abah, sleeping around 4.30am in the morning just to repair my old laptop since it's Chinese New Year, so shops were closed despite the fact that he is not healthy ;myocardial infarct and hypertension.

Mum: A very (superb) strong woman I've ever known. A loyal princess who never betrays.
Dad: I inherit his emotions. And also those art and music things. And it goes to every single of my siblings.

1 6 4 4 2 3

All those conditions.
I'm trying hard. Very hard.

What's up with the stare?
As if I'm an alien

Fact: I'm a normal human being *Grins


I'm not the only one whom facing the similar problems.
Dear Dik I, be strong!
Betapa susahnya ujian kita, la tahzan!
Segala yang sukar itu bukan sia-sia.
Sekurang-kurangnya dirimu masih mempunyai peluang.
Sedangkan Kak A***n ni, sangat sukar.
Lagi sukar dan lagi berkerikil perjalanannya.

Spending the whole evening with children, 5 of them.
Being with them makes me forget things that I should forget, as if I'm in heaven.
But sure non comparable with the real Jannah.
I'm wanting my own, since I was 16 *sigh
But no one seems to understand

If I ever want to change, it's all because of Him.
Not because of someone else.
And that's why I choose to separate.
And for H.L.P.
Not referring to anyone.


Quite busy lately, wasting time.
A bit distracted.
Hey. Be sure to read those.

P/s: Don't speculate things.
Let alone me and my thoughts, unless for amar makruf nahi munkar.

Till then.

Salam sayang,

Thursday, February 17, 2011



Dear readers, first of all, I would like to apologize if there is anything written here had cause a bit chaos.

I never expect those things to happen and never saw it coming.

But first, please don't try to deduce anything from this blog.

Again, I want to emphasize that what is being written is purposely written so abstractly so that no one would understand, except me and Allah.

And I did try testing it by asking someone to read it and interpret it, and she obviously had misinterpret it.

P/s: That person is close to me, yet she misunderstands it.

For a person who never knows anything about my story, my previous life etc, I bet will never understand the real meaning of what I had written here.

Perhaps you might misjudge the whole content as it looks so easy to understand.
But the truth is, it is not that easy.

Still, I would like to apologize since I'm the one who starts the chaos and complicate things.

Actually, I don't really mind if people misjudge me etc, because I know, Allah knows me best :)

And you can't really satisfy others (especially all!).
Satisfy Him.

But since it might INVOLVE OTHERS, so I guess it is a need for me to explain them.

By the way, I don't mind any sincere criticism that brings benefits to me.

* ***** ********* ***** *
Just wanna share a story.

One day, there is a man with his friend sitting in the pavement waiting to pick a bus.

Then an old beggar came, asked for some money. He looks old and so hungry.

The man gave him RM5 to the old beggar and smile. Later, another beggar came.

She is a girl, so beautiful that might captures the heart of whom seeing her.

The same man gave her RM400, leaving the girl smiling so happily.

His friend saw all these and said sarcastically "Double standard, huh!"

The man smiles again and said:

"The previous beggar is an old man, he might need some money to buy food since he seems so hungry. But the girl, she is beautiful. If I don't help her, she might end up doing forbidden things such as adultery to gain some money,"

Moral Of The Story:
If you see me wrong, care to advice me, and correct my wrong.
However, if somehow the same error in me which you dislike happen to be present in yourself, don't forget to fix your errors too.
Before we judge others, judge ourselves first.
Before Allah judge us on the Day there will be no other judge but Him, judge ourselves here first.

******** ***** **********

P/s: Just wanna mention one thing. When I said sweetheart, darling etc, it refers to no one else but me. It is a monologue by the way.

And also, this one is a direct entry, no hidden meaning behind it. And, the star thing (***) has its' own significant meaning, but again, you might misjudge it. And in the previous post, it has got nothing to do with people

And about me writing things, I'm sort of person who needs to write when I'm thinking. And when I conclude, it's another aim for me to achieve.
That's just who I am

Plus I have my own reasons why I write it down in blogs rather than just a piece of paper, but I don't think I need to explain all that.

"Know that a person who advices you, loves you and a person who flatters you has deceived you. A person who does not accept your (sincere) advice, is not your brother. Umar said,"There is no good in a people who do not advise, and there is no good in a people who do not love those who give it,"

Reference: Al Mustarshidin, written by Al-Muhasibi who was a sufi around the 2nd or 3rd century from Baghdad.

---- -----

Watch your thoughts, they will become your words.
Watch your words, they will become your action.
Watch your actions, they will become your habits.
Watch your habits, they will become your character
Watch your character, it will become your destiny

A reminder to myself especially.

---- -----

May Allah guide us and protect us from fitnah. Ameen.


Salam sayang,

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Proses Peneguhan Hati

* Forcing myself to let out stern faces


Petikan Puisi Epilog Diri 2
@ Copyright Reserved H.L.P

Aku tidak bisa mengerti,
Tanpamu aku berlari gagah berani,
Hilangmu sekilas aku mampu berdiri,
Mengorak langkah ke hadapan menuruti hati,
Megah senyuman memanah alam ini,
Yang terpandang terkaku diam,
Mengangguk-angguk tanda senang,
Saat itu aku wanita begitu tampan

Aku tidak bisa mengerti,
Hadirmu menjatuhkan hati ini,
Kelibatmu menggetarkan seluruh sanubari,
Aku menjadi kosong tanpa isi,
Lemah longlai tiada terperi,
Yang terpandang tersenyum diam,
Tiada angan yang dilemparkan,
Saat itu aku wanita penuh pedoman

Aku tidak bisa mengerti,
Aliran apa yang menyentuh segumpal daging ini,
Membuahkan persoalan berkali-kali,
Perlahan aku selongkari,
Ya! Jawapan pasti ada di sini!

Detik itu senyuman terukir perlahan,
Wahai mata, butakah dirimu?
Wahai telinga, apakah sudah hilang fungsimu,
Wahai hati, apa pasti engkau mempersoalkan semua ini?


Currently experiencing psychotic breakdown a bit *sigh
Duh. How should I explain it huh?
Hati ni terliuk-liuk Ya Allah.

Dear hati,
Tolonglah teguhkan hatimu!
Bukan semua sanggup mengalirkan air mata untukmu.
Bukan semua sanggup mengorbankan segalanya untukmu.
Bukan semua sanggup berdiri disebelahmu dalam apa jua keadaan.
InshaAllah yang ada ini yang terbaik.
Dan yang telah ditentukan olehNya.


Petikan dari Puisi Epilog Diri IV
@ Copyright Reserved H.L.P.

Ya Rabbi,
Tatkala aku terliuk ke kanan dan ke kiri,
Aku memohon teguhkanlah aku sepenuh hati


Ya Allah.
Ya Rabb.
Jangan sesekali jatuhkan aku, diperangkap sebegitu.
Walaupun HANYA AKU yang menganggap ia sedemikian.


******** *****
Jangan dilihat jika sekadar mahu memandang.
Jangan disentuh kalau sekadar mahu meninggalkan.
Jangan dikacau andai tahu ia menggusarkan.
Jangan diberi harapan jika mahu memecahkannya.
Jangan meluahkan janji jika tiada tahu menunaikannya.

Btw,special thanks to Ain and Mariam
Both of you selalu dengar luahan hati ini.
I love both of you! *Giggling

Salam Sayang,

Another P/S: Panjang tak entri kali ini? *Grins

Friday, February 11, 2011

H.L.Princess Theory *Grins


Hurm. So it's true. This world is so small.

To tell you the truth, I've had set up a hypothesis that claims:


When I said 'special person', I mean it.
And for my case, don't get me wrong. The special person is sure a girl, a friend of mine :)

I've just discovered that one of her friend is also my buddy, but we're not that close.

I've been trying to prove the hypothesis for about 2 years and today, I've solved it. BINGO! :P

Hence, should I classify my hypothesis as a theory? *Grins
And also, since it's true, can I call it H.L.Princess Theory? :D

By the way, you can try to prove the hypothesis.
I bet it works for you. It should.

I guess that ends my entry for today.

See you next time. Assalam. Adios!

Salam Sayang,

Saturday, February 5, 2011


Ya Ilahi,
Alangkah indahnya segala cakerawala,
Sesungguhnya hidupku ini hanyalah singgahan sementara

Ya Rabbi,
Sebagaimana begitu gelap langitmu mendung,
Sebegitulah juga hati ini terasa sungguh tersadung

Ya Rabbi,
Tatkala syaitan datang membisik,
Aku memohon jangan biarkan aku terusik!

Ya Rabbi,
Andai kesenangan memberikan aku kealpaan,
Aku rela andai ia diganti kesulitan

Ya Rabbi,
Jika hatiku tersesat tiada tahu jalan pulang,
Aku merayu jangan tinggalkan aku keseorangan

Ya Rabbi,
Tinggi melangit tiada terhitung dosa-dosaku,
Namun tiada mahu aku ke nerakaMu

Ya Rabbi,
Segala debu dosa yang aku sendiri ciptakan,
Aku merintih memohon sejuta keampunan

Ya Rabbi,
Andai Kau kurniakan aku nikmat kesulitan,
Pintaku temanilah daku dalam mencari penyelesaian

Ya Rabbi,
Saat air mata mengalir menahan kesakitan,
Kau berikanlah aku sehembus kekuatan

Ya Rabbi,
Aku hanyalah musafir di bumiMu ini,
Tunjukkanlah aku jalan ke syurgaMu yang hakiki

Ya Rabbi,
Waktu aku terliuk ke kanan dan ke kiri,
Aku memohon teguhkanlah aku sepenuh hati

Ya Ilahi,
KekuasaanMu tiada satu pun dapat menghalang
Dan aku pula insan penuh kekhilafan

:: Hak Cipta Terpelihara H.L.P. @ 2011 ::

Saya Dan Tudung

Entahlah. Sejak akhir-akhir ni, terdetik dalam hati ini, untuk memakai tudung yang lebih besar & lebih labuh.

Hati ini terasa begitu cenderung untuk ke arah itu. Pernah perasaan ini kunjung tiba lama dahulu namun tiada sebarang pelaksanaan dilakukan.

It’s just that I feel I’m not a hundred percent ready for it, sebab once I change, kenalah istiqamah. Istiqamah itulah yang menyebabkan diri ini lagi tidak bersedia *sigh

But it doesn't mean that I want to back off.

Pray for any good changes in me okay! *Grins :D

Current mood: Malas study weh! :P

Hurm.You give me butterflies.I wonder why.