Sunday, April 3, 2011

When I was 16


When I was 16, while sitting with my mum, I told her
“I want to become Mathematician,”

And surprisingly she said
“To become a Mathematician is kinda hard, you have to create your own formula, only then you’ll become an established Mathematician. One of my friends taking that course and till now he does still not succeed. Be a doctor,”

Frustrated, I told her
“I want to become a businesswoman,”

Again, she said
“Becoming a businesswoman is not easy. You have to travel the world, leaving your child and your husband behind. And that might lead you to unhappiness marriage. Your husband might be looking for someone else. Be a doctor,”

Crying, I told her
“I want to become motivational speaker,”

With a smile upon her face, she said
“For the same reason, you’ll be traveling the whole world, leaving your family unattended. Who’ll be looking after your child? Be a doctor,”

Sobbing, I told her
“I want to become a software engineer,”

She replied
“Only few people who succeed with million dollars. And you might be end up working at cyber café. Be a doctor,”

“I don’t want to become a doctor,”

She said firmly

I had depression for almost a week.

But today here I am. Still working to achieve her dream. And for the past 4 years it has become part of my dreams too.

I force myself to like it. And here I am, naturally desiring for it.

And from that moment too, I make my own decision.

I want to become everything that I want. I don’t want to limit myself. If I can be anything that I want, why I should restrict myself?

Life is short. And I might die tomorrow. And if it’s not tomorrow, it will be one day. Death sure will happen.

And I don’t want my life to be wasted away just like that. At least I can answer later on the Day of Judgement, what was my youth being spend on, (InshaAllah).

I’m being thankful to my mum too. She’s been shaping the future of the whole family to the extent that she sacrifices herself and her desire.

She could’ve bought her dream car etc with her salary but she chose not to, because she wants every single penny to be spent on her children education.

And she could have become a successful businesswoman but she chose not to, because she don’t want to leave behind her children, and she want to educate her children herself, help them and tell them words of wisdom.

And she could have become a lecturer, but afraid she might be busy that she might neglect her children.

And she took Master in Pharmacology. Because of she wants her children to at least take Master too, as they said that the children usually achieve higher than parents. She wants her children to achieve more.

Truly I think I inherit her character a lot, despite the fact that some people labeling me ‘crazy’ (after listening to my plans etc) etc and even sometimes she blames me for it. But deep inside, I truly believe that I got it all from her.

I learned from her a lot. I admire her a lot. And I love her, a lot.

I know sometimes I hurt her feelings, but it is sad to stand on a side in which you have to stand firmly without telling her the reason, and you believe that you’re on the right side but you’re not able to tell her why.

Each of her advices I do take, so that I’ll be aware and avoid of bad things that might happen.

And for my children later, InshaAllah I won’t make choices for them. Let them choose and learn. I will support them as long as they do not deviate from the Islamic teachings and values.

I have chosen two names for my future babies.
Amirul Mukminin and Khairul Muslimin :)
But only if my husband (in future) approves the names :D

Salam Sayang,

1 comment:

  1. yeah..btol tuh..cuma berikan mereka serba sikit panduan untuk buat pilihan..tapi pilihan tetap d tgn mereka..


I'll be happy enough if you leave your comments.
If you do so, for sure I will be smiling all day just like those McD's